Hope for the Future

Credit to Emily Nicole Bailey for this photo from years ago!

Having suffered from Anxiety for the past 9 years I feel like sometimes it's easy to get lost in a sea of emotion and I often find it difficult to focus on the future. Part of how my brain works is to focus on whats happening or has happened and repeat it over and over so planning ahead is often difficult for me. 

Take yesterday for example, something happened in my personal life that has made me focus all night  and morning and be unable to function like a normal human being. I currently look like a puffer fish because my eyes are all swollen. But thats life with anxiety! 

So sometimes I enjoy writing a list of my hopes for the future and things I'm looking forward to and this helps me focus more on the positive things in my life. Here goes! 

1. I hope for a happy and fun wedding day with no drama. 

Is this possible? It's a difficult situation with so many personalities believing they should have some sort of say in your day. Dealing with family entitlement is one of the things I have found most anxiety inducing since getting engaged. Tom just keeps reminding me that its a day for me and him and celebrating our love and marriage. And if anyone can't keep in line with that, well stuff em! I spend 99% of my time worrying about other people and doing stuff for other people so y'know what? My wedding day is for me! 

2. I hope for the best trip ever with tom!

We have booked to visit Iceland in January! It's somewhere I have always wanted to go and we finally went and did it! I plan to visit all those beautiful instagram worthy places like the blue lagoon and we also have a northern lights tour planned!

3. I hope to spend more time with friends.  

Anyone who knows me know I'm not exactly a social butterfly! I find it difficult in certain social situations and normally this means I just go quiet. Luckily I have a great group of friends who understand that and know that if I disappear from a night out early it's nothing to do with them! I think it's something Tom has always struggled with because he will literally chat to anyone. Nothing phases him. 

4. I hope to keep enjoying my new job

Having gone from a job I literally hated to this one which I love, I'm hoping that passion will continue on in the future. I love fashion and always have so working with clothes and seeing whats coming in for the autumn season is real exciting for me. 

5. I hope to publish a book

It's not something I've told everyone but I've been working on a novel for probably the last two years on and off. It's something I keep coming back to every now and again and I'd love to one day be a published author. I don't know if it's good enough but writing is my little bit of escapism. 

6. I hope to be successful in my blogging

By that I don't mean that I can quit work and blog full time (although that would be nice!) But I hope my blog becomes a successful outlet for my photography and thoughts and a safe space to get the jumble of rubbish out of my head and into a post (sorry readers!). 

So there we go! Thats my 6 hopes for the future and whenever I feel rubbish I can simply look back on these :) 

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